I’ve spent the morning cross-legged under my letterbox, awaiting a delivery from the postman.
It’s all the words that are putting me off…
And lo! Said delivery finally dropped onto the doormat (Inevitably just after I’d given up hope and left my vantage point in favour of Facebook.)
The first, long-awaited copy of Me After You, my memoir about life since Mark’s death.
Thing is, I hardly dare open it.
It’s all the words that are contained within it that are putting me off – the ones which raged from my broken heart onto the keyboard over five fraught months. They’re as precious to me as little pearls, those words; they are fierce, tender, raw, profane, downright dirty in parts.
But most importantly they are truthful, which is all I really wanted from them in the first place.
But what if they don’t look right? What if, now they’re out there, you don’t like them, or the calamitous tale they recount?
The book has been a labour of love. It has permitted me to spend time with my husband every day, to exhume Him and all the memories that go with Him.
It is also proof that if you believe in and love something passionately enough, with all of your heart and every sinew, you can achieve anything.
Ah fuck it. Mark, pet – this is for you. I’m going in…
Wife After Death 
Well done you must be so proud I can’t wait to read it. Was nice to see your post You’ve been missed xx
How lovely, thanks Lynne I’ve missed you too! X
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Well done!
So pleased for you Lucie, can’t wait to read it. Much love xxx
And to you my friend, thank you xxx
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That moment of releasing the thing that you have poured your heart and soul into, to be set free into the unknown wilds… bloody terrifying! I feel like that about my chocolates ffs so a raw memoir… You’re a valiant woman Lucie, and your words will make the world of difference to whomsoever chooses to read them. You’ll do Him, You (because you deserve a capital too!) and Bea proud xx
Aww, what a lovely message of support. Thank you Pru! Xx
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So proud of you
Les
Aww, thanks Les. Xxx
oh, Lucie,
I can well understand how at first blush you have had mixed feelings. glad you wrote about those niggling thoughts, but even more I am glad you conquered them. Well done! your labor of love is going to be such a huge help for so many of us; your writing is superb, you raw candor so engaging, and where you have been to, to where you are now will give so much hope and inspiration to others – just as your blog does. love you, Karen xoxo
Having a bad day on the grief today Karen, just needed that comment. Thank you friend. Xxx
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Fantastic to see all your hard work getting the recognition it deserves, enjoy the feeling of seeing your name on Amazon lists!! Lots of love from a fellow WAY blogger xxxx
Thanks for the lovely supportive comment Suzanne! Much love XXX
It just arrived on my kindle 👏 Happy launch day Lucie xx
Oh you are brilliant. Thank you. I hope you enjoy it Pru. XX
Just this minute finished it. You did a grand job! A very powerful read indeed. Of it all, it was the belly button fluff that did for me in the early hours, and it is an image that will stay with me because it’s one of the things about my husband that is so, everyday, I suppose (I’d be wondering what had become of the knitting hamster that MUST be responsible for it). I absolutely love the idea of the wood, I hope it happens, it seems that it would be such a testiment to your love. I am so sorry He’s gone, but I hope that you find real and lasting happiness, you bloody well deserve it. xx
AWWWWWWWW! You’ve been such a lovely supportive friend throughout all this Pru, it makes me beam to read that message. I’m so happy to receive your lovely comments and very much appreciate you buying, reading and finishing the book in record time! Hopefully one day we might meet – and I can try some of these chocolates you keep Tweeting about! Much much love and gratitude, Me x
That would be fab! Sorry for all the spammy choccy tweets 😉
I’m going in…. and welling up at the same time. Thank you for putting it all into words. It’s going to resonate I’m sure… x
I bought and read this book today. I couldn’t put it down. Thank you so much for this Lucie. This story is also my story. It helps to know I am not alone.
Soooo glad to read that Crystal. Thank you. Sending you love and strength. Xx
You too Lucie. I will be telling everyone back home in Oz about it when I return. Is it available in Australia yet? X x
Hi love – not sure, I know a couple of my friends have bought it over there but I think it was shipped via carrier pigeon or something! I’ll let you know though. Love to you. xxx
Thank you for being able to express in words so much of what I am currently going through and making me not feel as if I am alone. Having just lost the love of my life in March this year it’s still very raw…. I have learnt that everything I am going through is quite normal, if one can say this is normal. Mich
So sorry to hear about your loss Mich – you must still be very raw, I’m so glad the book resonated. Keep going…one foot in front of the other. Love xxx