Grief’s the monkey

Procrastination may have brought about the downfall of Hamlet, but had the Danish prince had access to You Tube, it’s possible that he would have gained insight much more quickly.

An irritating, parasitic little shit. (picture credit:

An irritating, parasitic little shit. (picture credit:

He could have kicked back and watched this clip for example:

I’ve been watching it on a loop for the past half-an-hour whilst I muster up the will-power to start on some work.

As well as being an (arguably quite amusing) distraction, the more I watch, the more it makes sense as a representation of my relationship with grief.

Demonstrated through the medium of small mammals.

Bear with me on this one.

In case there’s any doubt – I’m the pig, grief’s the monkey. Even when the monkey loses his grip and falls off, note how he pursues the hapless piglet until he is able to mount once more. He’s relentless. Unforgiving. He probably has his dirty simian fingernails sunk deep into the pig’s weary flesh.

In short, he’s an irritating, parasitic little shit.

Interestingly though, the pig takes it all in his stride. He skitters about, snuffles in the muck, takes a lettuce leaf from the hand of an onlooker. He’s learned to get on with life in spite of the 40lb barnacle on his back and a ludicrous soundtrack.

Grief is a shape-shifter. To some, it’s a cell-mate with whom they are doomed to life imprisonment. To others it’s a gremlin. Some don’t acknowledge it at all, but still it lurks, in some shady corner, behind the filing cabinet. To me it’s a plane wreck, a millstone round my neck, and now it appears as a video on You Tube.

Now I’m off to find meaning in something else completely futile. Which is a pain, because I’ve got so much work to do.

8 thoughts on “Grief’s the monkey

  1. Hi. We don’t know each other but our mums are cousins. I hope you don’t mind me commenting on your blog but my mum told me about it and I had heard about you through Ben too when he ran the 10k in M’s memory. We met once a few years ago at my uncle macs bday party. I’m not really writing this very well but basically I just wanted to send you love and hugs. I have been following your blog and think you are amazingly strong! Apologies again for how mishmashed this comment is. Just after reading your blog for a few weeks now I wanted to contact you, I’m sure your words are helping not only you but others in the same situation.

    Gemma xxx

    • Gem darlin I feel so close to you even though we don’t really know each other. Thank you for reading and commenting, we have a strong Crombo gene which keeps us together despite distance etc. I REALLY appreciate the support with the blog and you reading. I’d love to meet you sometime soon. With much love and gratitude, L X

  2. You are so right about the Crombo gene! Definetly a strong one and also the best family to be a part of! Knowing everyone is there to support you if you ever need it is a great safe feeling. My grandad was so proud of his family and rightly so because like you say wherever any of us are the connection is always there. Lots of Love. Gem xxx

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