Well so fucking what?

Image of Stephen Fry

Image of Stephen Fry (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Should grief and expressions thereof be a private affair?

Is it crass to publicise feelings, emotions, acts of recklessness, over a public forum where anyone from Tahiti to Taiwan, to the girlfriend of the Plumber with whom you were having a fling might read it?

Apologies for two posts in one day, but I am grappling with this tonight and need to set it forth. Close your ears, shut off your eyes if you’ve had enough. And if you are offended, refer to Stephen Fry:  “Well so fucking what?”

I want to write about M and the devastation His death has wrought. And none of my words are taken lightly. I have to set time aside to think about what I want to write – I am busy, I’ve got other shit to do. But the hour or two dedicated to the blog is sheer, unadulterated ‘M’ time. I can think about Him, me, my girl, my life since He’s been gone. It’s indulgence, but hey! What an indulgence!

In writing the blog,  I am attempting to decode my actions and emotions. Generally, they makes no sense until I write them down and then miraculously they all come together. I have no idea why I want to fuck the Plumber, but thankfully I write about it and it turns out it’s normal. Other people in similar situations feel the same way. This is strengthening, and as far as I can see, I am doing nothing wrong.

All compelling evidence why for me, grief should be a public affair, and why I will continue with this blog. If I am betrayed and get a brick through the window so be it.

With due respect to all other approaches to grief…

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7 thoughts on “Well so fucking what?

  1. You said it! Who gives a shit if fucking the plumber is normal or NOT? Sounds like a splendid little diversion, if just a momentary one, from the burden you carry, girl. You say or do what you must, if it gives you a little peace. Just don’t get yourself jailed as you go about it, ok?

    • Absolutely CJ. All grief diversions are welcome (although you’re right, serving time is not an option!) I was drunk when I wrote this last night so it probably sounded a bit more ranty than intended. But so fucking what?! X

  2. No one can judge how you navigate your little grief boat, because no one’s in it except you. If they’re lucky, they’re on dry land. If they’re in their own boat, they have to navigate alone too, and do it anyway they choose. I’m cheering you on. xx

  3. Totally agree – how dare anyone else feel they have the right to judge you and comment on your behaviour. Using Clarence’s analogy – it is easy to stand and watch you battle against the elements in your little boat from the comfort of dry land!! xx

  4. Pingback: Hello. | A shallow thinker

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