I’m new to the blogging game, but I do find writing about M and my subsequent life after his death to be therapeutic. It even crossed my mind that by sharing my thoughts and experiences I might find some kindred spirits out there in the ether – which is why I recently submitted a link to my blog to one of the only online widow’s support forums, and one which has given me great comfort since my loss.
It would appear, however, that I was wrong. Unwittingly, I was in breach of the site’s code of conduct for posting the link – an accusation I accept and can only apologise for. However when I received the following email from the site’s founder, I’ll confess I reached my for dictionary for a definition of the word ‘support’ :
“I have just removed your post from my website. I didn’t set up Merrywidow to promote badly-written blogs by people who don’t even have the courage to use their own name, but, judging by the response you got, I’m not surprised you wanted to remain anonymous. Don’t bother trying to post again, as you have been banned from the site, and next time you want to sully a messageboard with moronic drivel, try picking one with a readership with a lower IQ.”
I was clearly unaware that when it comes to writing about the loss of a husband there is a strict code of conduct that must be upheld, a standard not only of content but of writing which the site’s founder monitors assiduously (presumably to protect the sensibilities of her many readers and contributors). For this, we must be grateful. God forbid that anyone, such as myself, should infringe these boundaries and, by doing so, express their grief in their own terms.
Still, I shall continue to plough my own furrow – an outcast in widowhood. My only consolation is that it is what M would have wanted, even if does the site’s founder does not.